Tha da Freak!


I know that I’m a freak.

I know that.

Do you think that I could forget with people telling me every day?

They call me freak. Freankenstein. Monster.

I’m sorry that the car hit me. I’m sorry that the doctors weren’t concerned with beauty when they saved my life. I am a monster, but I’m not one of the dangerous variety.

There are plenty who are, though. I’m talking about the monsters who hide in sheep’s clothing and then rip out with snapping teeth.

The monsters who hide curled up in a beautiful skin. People pass monsters every day. They eat with them, laugh with them, sit in their laps and let their teeth near their throats.

They smile and laugh and pull people in with dancing green eyes. They’re wolves, they’re sharks, and make no mistake, there’s blood in the water. Most people don’t see what they are under their porcelain masks and red lips.

They just see innocent brown eyes and a buffed handsme dude. They don’t see the scales and claws that they show me. They call me the monster, but monsters like me only look the part, and I prefer that to the false facades and double-edged words.

I’m an honest monster. I bare my scars and my breaks and let people see what I am.

No lies, no false fronts. I am what I appear to be. Others hide their pain and insecurities behind masks and barbs. They hide their scars by making others bleed.

And for that, I pity them.

Arash’s Letter!




From : Arash’s Comedy Cenral

To: Mom


I’m trying.  It’s not always as easy as you think.

I have so much going on in my life and I can only do so much.  I know you think I am SuperMan, I know how things look to you and everybody else on the outside, but I am still only Thirtynine and sacrificing so much of my youth for what I want in my life.

I get that this is what I want and I’ve brought this upon myself.  You are right, it is what I want but you can’t continue to burden me with things you need me to do for you.

I don’t have time to run to the store on the way home from practice, when I have exams and homework.  I don’t have time to have hour-long dinners with you and the family, or do chores or all the other things that other dudes my age do…I can’t have a girlfriend or go to house parties or any of it.


It’s not that I don’t want to do those things, well, I can do without the chores, but I need to be disciplined and fully committed to acting and writing.  You know this Mom, you know what this means to me.  Please try to understand me better.  I’m not your typical teenager boy.

Arash’s letter “ME , myself and I” letter to my mother.


Mommy, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s, it’s hard for me to say. The last thing I want to do is disappoint you. You’re so kind and supportive of me. I love you so much. I’m just going to say it. No matter how hard it is for me to admit, because I love my life. But hon-honestly sometimes wish I wasn’t famous!

Acting is an amazing thing. Most people would love to be me. It just tires me out so much. Starting at seven– I don’t think that was meant to be my path. I had an idea when I was younger, and you were amazing to let me follow it. But I was seven now im thirty nime! I didn’t know all of the pressure that it would be. Again, the last thing I want to do is disappoint you. You’re my role model, my hero, my everything.

Sometimes I’m scared I won’t be enough like you when I grow up. It’s just that I feel so insecure and overwhelmed. People always stopping and staring. Taking pictures of me, invading my privacy. Not feeling comfortable in my own skin. I just want me, myself and I. Not surrounded by paparazzi and obsessive fans. Sometimes I just wish for a normal life! I know that sounds selfish and entittled, I mean, I have everything. Money, designer clothes, loving family. I shouldn’t ask for more. But, I’m technically asking for less.

I love all the fun trips and traveling, and this loving and kind family, I just don’t think a thirty- nine-year-old man should be held to such high expectations. I love you.

Thank you for always being there for me. I hope you understand.

“Would you touch a slippery snake?”monologue

I don’t like funerals and weddings. I’m sure of that. But when I was messing around with Daniella, I told her I liked weddings. It was that kinda, doe-eyed, sloppy lie you tell when you’ve got cherry marmalade in your heart about a girl. Daniella was the ptincess, even though she was a lil’ too old for me past high school guys. Mom never liked that. She said she was gruff and that it probably wouldn’t last long. But, Daniela’s not as wicked witch as she comes off.

She told me that in elementary school all the kids poked at her for being petit girl. She’d listen to disco and eat her maple ham sandwiches with the teacher, which made me sad. Couldn’t you see my little Daniella with her wide eyes and crazy raven hair as she munched on some dry bread next to a busty middle aged teacher? Daniela never really knew how to click with people quite like everyone else, I suppose. The part that made me ache was when Daniella told me ‘bout the day they served French toast sticks. The kids roughed her up, yanno, punches and kicks like little tykes do, and then poured syrup into the back of her jacket.Daniella got all teary-eyed just talking about it. Everyone called her slot. Still do. I only called her slot when I was angry with this a healthy rrlationship. Daniella was irksome girl, but , girl, did she love disco. Not me. I didn’t mind some Donna Summers and some Bee Gee’s, now and then, but Daniela loved it. I told her I did too. I never really understood why guys do that for their princesses. It was just a tradition. It was a torch passed down on the back of the bus, along with dirty songs and the secrets to youth. My mom would nag at me for bending about disco. I used to always yap and moan about her Earth, Wind and Fire, but that’s just what boys do to their mothers. People tell me how much I’m like her, and it drives me crasy. “Arash! You’ve got your momma’s disco ball eyes!” I didn’t want her disco ball eyes! Or her disco ball hair, hands or songs. When I broke up with Daniella, she spit on my new suite and then I blurted out that I hated funerals. My mom picked me up that night in the back lot of the drive in. We listened to Gloria Gaynor the whole ride home as I cried. I was mad ’cause she was right. Moms are always right. She rubbed my back and made me feel better. I still hated weddings and funerals, but I didn’t mind it as much in that moment.


I can’t help but feel protective. I am everything. I am nothing. I cannot see myself. I can only see them, my Dear .

My magnificent, shining sources of love. They are as inviting as the smell of warm cookies wafting from the oven. My stars. I can see everything in the universe. Gliding through the galaxy, faster that hundreds of times the speed of light, I can see in all directions. My goal is consuming – to balance the raging war between good and evil, between darkness and me. I am the embodiment of all that is good in the universe. My purpose is to defeat the dark matter plaguing the universe. As I defend my stars and fight for all that is good in the universe, my opponent withers and shrinks, folding in on itself. It is reduced to the purest form of darkness, shadow-light. It draws me toward it, sucking the light out of my soul. With a mighty heave, I launch myself toward it, overpowering the dark being .

Arash “Arash’s talk”

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Can I tell you something? It’s kind of a big thing, so I’m gonna need you to keep it quiet. You know Arash, right? Of course you do. Anyway, we kind of, uh I don’t know um robbed a bank last week. God, I know! I know it’s terrible, but I really needed to get that off my chest. To be honest I don’t know what drove me to say yes, but if I’m gonna be REALLY honest, it’s cuz Arash is REALLY HOT. I mean what else are you supposed to do when the most attractive guy you know finally gives you the time of day?

Sure, it was only to rob a bank, but I guess I thought there would have been more benefits to doing something like that. Aside from the money. Anyway, last week, Arash just saunters up to me and is like “Hey Arash, I think you’re pretty cool, so uhh, wanna rob a bank tomorrow?” and NATURALLY I said, “SUREEEEE ARASH! That seems like a completely acceptable and not at all illegal thing to do!” But who just asks that? I mean take me to dinner first. So, the next morning it’s like four AM, we’re getting ready to do the thing. I’m pretty nervous. The most illegal thing I’d done up until that point was J-walked. Arash looks at me and is all, “what ya scared?? This is gonna be a piece of cake.” I tried to be brave and said “You’re right! It’s not like uh… cheating at tetherball!!”

It’s WAY worse. So, we manage to get in without setting off any alarms. We were in and out SO quick and we got some good cash out of it. Like I said though, I thought there’d be more benefits to robbing a bank with a guy than cash. Turns out someone wanting to rob a bank with you does NOT coincide with getting married and having kids. So, so much for committing a felony in hopes of getting a date.

Arash’s “My amends to Exclamation mark” this is only an amends letter because i am friends of Bill W. and i work the 12 steps everyday.

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Welcome everyone to the guild of all the actors and actresses and models in the world!

This is our first, of many weekly meetings. As you may have noticed, Comma is not here he is suffereing like

I specifically did not invite him. This is not a Comma-free society but this is an Exclamation-free society!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

. Hey that rhymes!  I, Exclamation Point have finally found something to be excited about.


She keeps it quiet on and on and on! When you finally think she is done she just links what she is thinking about to something else!

It is so annoying. And when I am annoyed, I leave, and everything gets pretty boring.

Question mark, Period, Semicolon, and all the rest of you, I know you’re with me on this.

Yes, ellipsis,download we will not be taking a vote!


I am the President of this blogg. I have the final say.and here it is dictatorship like the world of Potter.

Parentheses…stop whispering.

Do you have something to share with the rest of us? Oh, you like her? I don’t care if you like her. I like her more period

She will not make it impossible to get anything done for me in fact it is reverse maybe. Hey, you in the back, quiet down. Stop shouting! Wait…how’d a bunch of capital letters get in there. Get out!

This is for #actors like me only! Okay, now, back to business. Yes, Period…the meeting is over.

Sit back down. Ugh. This is exhausting. No wonder people don’t use Actors very often.

I am Sorry and my amends to you the exclamation Mark if i spoke behind your back. I have so many fake family and fake friends and i had alot of noise in my head and i was lonely without you. i still am but i wish you the best.i will never speak about you anymore i just think about you and wish you a happy life. i am too much trouble so i will dump it into other people lives!

I am An English teacher today!


Alright class! Listen up! Because of last weeks and this week ’ “events,” we are going to try this again.

Everyone get out your pencils. And no throwing them this time! Jack, put that cell phone away!

I will not hesitate to take it! Jake, stop trying to light Brook’s hair on fire!

There is barely any left from last time! Peter! Don’t you dare throw that chair out the window!

Todd… Todd! Ugh! you guys are worse today than yesterday, and now I have to replace that window! I am calling the principal!

Hello Mrs. Fine?

We need you in the fifth-grade classroom. What do you mean you are busy? There’s no way those kindergartners are worse than these kids. oh…oh… They did that? Oh well, I hope Mrs. Vivian recovers. Those kindergartners should be ashamed for doing that to her.

Well, stay safe, and I hope the pencil wound in your arm heals.


Okay class, new test! We are going to see how good you are at finding a new teacher because I quit! I am going to be a janitor! I rather clean up other people’s messes than teach you! Adios!Ciao!



Arash’s “The Selfish Belt” Monologue


Yeah, we’ve all heard it, My little KATOLIK belt.

How great you are for helping out that disabled boy.

Give it a rest. Honestly, I don’t think you’re doing it for him; you’re doing it for yourself.

You must feel such a thrill, having him watch you like you’re some kind of savior.

I’d guess you like to feel that way; some kind of all holy, selfless being.

But in my opinion, you’re the most selfish person I know you mother fucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You walk around thinking you are a one of a kind, holy mastermind.

Plenty of people volunteer, and the good ones, the really good ones don’t yak on and on about it. You like to believe that people think you’re a little miss pink perfect cake pop doll lady,

but you’re not that. Hard to hear ain’t it. That you mean far less than little to someone, someone who doesn’t kiss the earth below you. He doesn’t need you. You could die today and he’d still breathe the same, suffer the same. You aren’t his medication, so stop acting like some prized jewel that can’t shatter to the ground. Test me one more time Katolik belt.

You’ll see, one day, you’ll be nothing more than another grain of sand in the ocean of nobodies.