Arash’s “Wishful Drinking!!!!!!!!!!” Monologue

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The white clock on the wall is mocking me!

Counting down the minutes until I fail this test.

It makes no sense.

Hey, why aren’t there any posters hung up in Ms. Pierce’s room? I never noticed that before.

I need something to take my mind off this paper. This paper that will destroy my GPA.

Oh my god…I’m grinding my teeth. I never grind my teeth.

Wow. Look how interesting this pencil looks when I twirl it. Why is the second hand on that clock moving so slowly? And how is everyone else still working on this test? I can’t make sense of it. I read the novel, but this question doesn’t make any sense. Look at Harry. Furiously scribbling. I hate him.

He knows the answers to everything. Ms. Pierce’s is reading a book. Really? At a time like this, she is just sitting there reading? She’s mean. Whoa. There’s the bell.

My paper is still blank. I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Great. Everyone’s getting ready to go. I’d better turn in my paper. But really, what’s the point? It’s blank. I guess I’ll just turn it in. Wait, what? Ms. Pierce’s is going to grade our papers right now? How can she do that? I think I’m going to turn to stone. She’s making everyone sit back down. Why is she shuffling through the papers so fast? Wait, she stopped on one. I think it’s mine. Here we go. My heart’s pounding through my chest. She’s going to announce to everyone that I’ve failed. Wait, what? I am the only one who passed? It was a test to see if we could read directions, and it said not to write anything down?

Ha! Take that, Harry Potter! Take that, clock!

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Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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