Arash’s “Californian Leprechaun” Monologue Comedy! lol

 

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So, I gotta rant for saint Patrick’s day!

Recently, people have been finding me! I know, I know… you’re thinking, “What about that could be so bad?” Oh, trust me. It’s MUCH worse than you think. First of all, everyone assumes I’ll be all “Oh, top of the mornin’ to ya.” But I am actually a Angelino Leprechaun.

We have surf, and Starbucks, and “Sup, bro he haha?” and not so much ‘green as far as the eye can see,’!

and so most of the time, when I’m spotted, I’ve got a cup of coffee in my hands.I dont know why!

Then a human sees me, they’re excited, they start freaking out. And it’s always a surprise, so 9 times out of 10, the coffee gets knocked out of my hand and spills all over them.

Suddenly they’re screaming, “I thought you guys were supposed to be GOOD luck now my clothes are ruined…” blah blah blah. I’m like, talk to my lawyer dude.

YOU’RE the one who grabbed ME. At this point, about half the time, they just DROP me! That always hurts. The other half, well, they ask what happens next, and by Leprechaun laws I have to present them with two choices.

a Pot of Gold, or a Ruby. If they pick pot of gold, they get a tiny one. It’s leprechaun-sized! Can’t spend it, really. really.

If they choose Ruby, it’s a girl named Ruby. Her name is Ruby. Of course, because we’re tricky like that! Now at this point they’re upset, and I have to blow glitter in their eyes in order to “magically” disappear and honestly, I’m running out of my glitter stash and I just don’t know how much more of this I can take!

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Published by

Netaarash

Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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