Ugh! It’s been eleven years. Eleven! And still, I am here.

In the Tower Of Azkaban protected by the most dangerous dementors, wearing yet another Black Shirt and with the same old hair, only shorter.

It’s like nothing has changed. Not really.

I mean, when I first got here, I was really scared and lonely. So, I guess I’m not that scared anymore, but the loneliness.

Geezez Fucking Krist. Sometimes, I think I’m going crazy. Half the time I talk to myself while the other half I talk to the dementors. She’s really nice actually. Yup. It’s a girl. I like girls!

And her name is Fujairah. It’s sort of Arabic for fire. Fujairah tells me that the only reason why she kills other black Prince guys and some Princesses that she want to rescue me is because she hears them say things like: “This is for the kingdom! I shall slay this dementor, rescue the young man, and rule the kingdom!

Gold for me, gold for ME!” Fujairah tells me that she doesn’t think those type of girls are for me.

I know it’s crazy, but I think that this dementor is actually like a mom to me.

More than my actual mom, that’s for sure!

I mean, couldn’t she have stopped dad from sending me to this Azkaban to wait for my “true love?”

I thought true love couples met like in an A.A. meeting or at a Library or something. If only my dad didn’t make that stupid bet with the other dad: “Let’s see who loves their black prince more.”

My dad’s theory was not that, the more your son suffers, the more love he deserves. His theory was ,the more your son suffers ,the more he should ignore him.

Thanks dad. I’m a Son , not a casino chip!

But to be honest, some days are not that bad. Sometimes, I just like looking out the window and…Wait! Is that a knight coming to rescue me?

Ugh. He didn’t even bother to shave or looking to do the 12 steps of a.a. Here he comes. I can see the greediness in his face. (My Prayer:God Grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change courage the things i can wisedom to know the diffrerence.) Please Fujairah, don’t let him rescue me. Don’t let him! …And…he’s dead.

I am so tired of this. Over and over, waiting for a Knight to rescue me.

Maybe this is a life lesson. Don’t people say, “love yourself? or in a.a they say let us love you until you learn to love yourself?” Well, I certainly love myself very much and A.A loves me too and my mom loves me too and my dad loves me too. Maybe I am my own “true love.” or my higher power is”my true love” Yes! I get it now! Fujairah! We shall fly away! Forget about knights and kingdoms! Let’s fly to freedom together!

Arash “In Defense of Grinch” Monologue


Listen up, people. I’ve got a lot to say to you and not much time to say it, so let’s get started. Most fellas around here just LOATHE the Grinch, at least before his heart had a growth spurt.

“Who is he,” they say, “to lie, cheat, and steal, all because he was jealous?”

Well, let me ask you this, who are YOU to go hating on him? Sure, maybe dumping all the Whos’ presents off the side of Mt. Crumpit was a bit overkill, but if he could hear the Whos singing all the way from his mountain, I think he had a right to be annoyed, don’t you think?

And don’t even get me started on how lonely he must have been. He’s a green, shriveled-up beast who lived right above the happiest town there ever was, and every year a merry festival went on below him while he froze in his cave. Did the Whos ever once invite him? Huh? Did they even care about him before he carved the roast beast? I DON’T THINK SO! With all that said, I hope next time you read “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, you’ll understand his motives.




download (6)


I’ve finally confirmed it. My father and his entire are crazy!

Last night, I heard them arguing, and they were talking real low, so naturally, I snuck up to the door and listened in.

That’s when I heard my mom say, “Let’s talk about the elephant in the room.” What? I’ve never seen an elephant in their room.

Or even in our house. Obviously,

we would all know if there was an elephant in their room! My dad said, “Keep your voice down. The kids will hear.” Like he didn’t want us to know there was an elephant in there either.

So, apparently, they both think there is an elephant in their room.

I looked through the crack in the doorjamb, and I could see my mom sitting on the bed, and my dad across from her, and sure enough…no elephant.

Then my dad said something that I couldn’t hear, and then my mom sounded real mad and she said, “Well, it’s clear that you prefer her to me.”

So apparently the elephant is a girl elephant. And my dad raised his voice and said, “I work with her in downtown Los Angeles!” What? My dad’s a worker, not a zookeeper.i was wondering the question what it would be if he was? Tomorrow, after-work, I’m going to sneak in there and find out once and for all. And just to be on the safe side,

I’m going to make my younger brothers Ravashand Radi come with me!

“Arash’s Stage Fright monologue” COMEDY

red-stage-background-vector-21381088Hi, my name is Arash. I have my very first play tomorrow and I am super nervous. Can you help me? You can! Thank you! Wait,

so you did the same play before? You were also nervous? So, what did you do?

Okay, trying not to look at people would help me a lot when I am doing the play. Do you have any other strategies?

One more, what is it? Practicing in front of my family will help me? Thanks again!

Now I am not nervous, I am excited!

Now that I am confident in practicing and going on stage, I will make tomorrow the best day of my life. I will always remember these things when I go on stage. I am super excited to go on stage.

I am going to do my best. Thank you so much!

“Arash at the beach’s Monologue” Comedy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Hello, my name is Arash and I’m a part of a Eliass sea see si family.

Every day of my life is basically the same. Wake up. Eat breakfast. Watch family leave.

Lie in the sunshine and chase squirrels. Family comes home. Get some tummy rubs and treats.

Eat dinner and go to bed.

But one day, I heard them talking about driving to something called the beach… I didn’t know what that was, but then they said three words that made my ears perk up, “Let’s bring Arash.!!!!!” I was so excited! I wasn’t going to be alone all day again. I got in the car and jumped into their lap, ready to go on an adventure.

As we were driving there was a powerful fan outside the car window with a lot of smells. Finally, we get to the thing called the beach. Why haven’t they taken me to this before?!

The dirt here is soft and warm, and so easy to dig in. There are birds everywhere to chase and chase (huffing and puffing). They are in a big pool of water that looks like it has no end. They are calling me, and suddenly my paws are wet, but it feels so good!

Oh no, a big moving wall of water is coming. What will happen if it gets me. I try to run away, but it’s too late, and it’s all over me. I’m soaking wet. I run back to the dry sand where my family is and shake and shake and shake and shake.

What are they talking about? They must think this is as fun as I do!

The day at the beach was the best day ever! On the way home, I heard them talking about another adventure, called “the psychologist.”

I can’t wait to see what that is like!

Arash’s “Californian Leprechaun” Monologue Comedy! lol


download (2)download (2)

So, I gotta rant for saint Patrick’s day!

Recently, people have been finding me! I know, I know… you’re thinking, “What about that could be so bad?” Oh, trust me. It’s MUCH worse than you think. First of all, everyone assumes I’ll be all “Oh, top of the mornin’ to ya.” But I am actually a Angelino Leprechaun.

We have surf, and Starbucks, and “Sup, bro he haha?” and not so much ‘green as far as the eye can see,’!

and so most of the time, when I’m spotted, I’ve got a cup of coffee in my hands.I dont know why!

Then a human sees me, they’re excited, they start freaking out. And it’s always a surprise, so 9 times out of 10, the coffee gets knocked out of my hand and spills all over them.

Suddenly they’re screaming, “I thought you guys were supposed to be GOOD luck now my clothes are ruined…” blah blah blah. I’m like, talk to my lawyer dude.

YOU’RE the one who grabbed ME. At this point, about half the time, they just DROP me! That always hurts. The other half, well, they ask what happens next, and by Leprechaun laws I have to present them with two choices.

a Pot of Gold, or a Ruby. If they pick pot of gold, they get a tiny one. It’s leprechaun-sized! Can’t spend it, really. really.

If they choose Ruby, it’s a girl named Ruby. Her name is Ruby. Of course, because we’re tricky like that! Now at this point they’re upset, and I have to blow glitter in their eyes in order to “magically” disappear and honestly, I’m running out of my glitter stash and I just don’t know how much more of this I can take!

download (2)

Arash’s”My Shrink Office” Monologue Comedy!:-)




(I walk in and sits on a sofa in my shrink office.)

So, Dr. Green is gone, huh? Just as well, I guess. He was what? Like eighty? But then again, I gotta be honest. You look too young to be a therapist.

Alright, well, I’ll give you the backstory. You might want to get a snack.

So, last March. I was a sophomore , and this whole high school thing? Trust me when I tell you that I despised all of it.

The people, the lunches, the drama. But home wasn’t much better. I’ve always been really smart. Practically a quantum computer, and my two younger brothers Ravash and Rady were jealous of this, which led to my being bullied by my own family. So, no friends at school, and treated like crap at home, I guess I was set up to be more prone to fighting and self-harm.

Then, I guess it all came to a head on March 2nd. You probably read that. About me going to the rooftop of the school and being ready to jump? Yeah. I had a note, but couldn’t think of anyone to give it to.

So, I’m standing up there, and this guy I barely knew, Mark Holmes, appears out of nowhere and yanks me down. Of course, I immediately punched him in the face, but he stayed up there and just kept talking, and after a couple of hours, I felt better, and actually started to like the guy. He asked me to join his club which he called the Secrets Club, which had nothing to do with mysteries at all.

It was more like a hangout spot for him and his friends. A boy named Connor. He was British and personality-wise he’s pretty eccentric. Madman, actually. Julie , she was and still is the delinquent of the group. And a girl named George.

I know, it’s weird. But she’s great. She’s energetic and very optimistic and able to see the best in everyone. So that’s how I got into that group. Now to talk about why I was in the hospital. It was a normal day at the club, or what we call normal. We had just left a party. Well more like we were kicked out of a party. Yeah, Julie had punched someone because he was being rude. She can be scary sometimes. But anyway, that was the day George started seeing this guy. His name was Alex. He acted like a nice guy around her, but I could tell he wasn’t a good guy. I tried to warn her. She didn’t believe me. Soon enough, Alex confronted me in private tried to fight me. Little did he know that my history of self-harm made me tolerant to pain and my terrible upbringing made me a great fighter. So, it didn’t end well for him. Turns out because of that little scuffle he started to verbally abuse George, but she still wouldn’t leave him. So, me, Mark, and Julie decided to take matters into our own hands. First, we trashed his place. Put graffiti on the walls. Destroyed his TV. That was fun. After that I went to George’s house to tell her about it. I saw her on the edge of her balcony. As soon as she saw me, she jumped. I ran and caught her hand as she was falling and tried to pull her up. I used all my strength to save her. She put her hands on the ledge to pull herself up, but by that point my arms were done and when she pulled up, I fell down. Right off the balcony! I thought it was funny ending up right where I started. It felt like time was slowing down. I saw George’s horrified expression as I was falling. You know, I though falling to your death would be scary, but it was somehow soothing knowing it was all over and I was about to die. After I fell, I was in a coma for two weeks.

My family is pretty much done with me, but hey, I’m alive. Oh, that’s the end of our session? Great. I got somethings off my chest at least. Well, got to go. The secret club is waiting. I heard Julie hit someone with a bat.

Arash’s “Wishful Drinking!!!!!!!!!!” Monologue

download (1)

The white clock on the wall is mocking me!

Counting down the minutes until I fail this test.

It makes no sense.

Hey, why aren’t there any posters hung up in Ms. Pierce’s room? I never noticed that before.

I need something to take my mind off this paper. This paper that will destroy my GPA.

Oh my god…I’m grinding my teeth. I never grind my teeth.

Wow. Look how interesting this pencil looks when I twirl it. Why is the second hand on that clock moving so slowly? And how is everyone else still working on this test? I can’t make sense of it. I read the novel, but this question doesn’t make any sense. Look at Harry. Furiously scribbling. I hate him.

He knows the answers to everything. Ms. Pierce’s is reading a book. Really? At a time like this, she is just sitting there reading? She’s mean. Whoa. There’s the bell.

My paper is still blank. I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Great. Everyone’s getting ready to go. I’d better turn in my paper. But really, what’s the point? It’s blank. I guess I’ll just turn it in. Wait, what? Ms. Pierce’s is going to grade our papers right now? How can she do that? I think I’m going to turn to stone. She’s making everyone sit back down. Why is she shuffling through the papers so fast? Wait, she stopped on one. I think it’s mine. Here we go. My heart’s pounding through my chest. She’s going to announce to everyone that I’ve failed. Wait, what? I am the only one who passed? It was a test to see if we could read directions, and it said not to write anything down?

Ha! Take that, Harry Potter! Take that, clock!



The game went great. All I could hear was the crowd screaming my name. I could feel the sweat dripping down my face, all the eyes staring at me, and the taste of the dry air. I had to make that basket. Everyone was counting on me. The ball leaves my hand and the crowd gasps and jumps to their feet. The ball spins in the air, circles around the rim, then… IT MAKES IT IN! The crowd goes wild! My teammates lifted me up over their heads and I felt amazing! At least, I did for a little while until it was all ruined.

After the game, I saw Angelica. She talked to me for a few minutes. We haven’t spoken in a while. She told me that I played really well in the game. I blushed and thanked her. I wanted to talk more but her mom showed up in the car and she had to go. I love everything about her. I have for a long time. I love her silky, brown hair, her beautiful light brown skin, and her eyes. They’re this magnificent hazel color. But the thing that I love the most about her is her personality. She’s funny, sweet, and super smart.

None of that matters now.

See, right after she left, my friend Angel walked over to me. We haven’t seen each other in a while and he had this strange look on his face.

He says, “Hey bro, I want to tell you something but please don’t get mad.” He starts to tell me how Angelica asked him out a few weeks ago and they’ve been dating. He’s been avoiding me because he knew I liked her but then he goes on to say that he always liked her, too.

My head was spinning. He never mentioned that he liked her once.

He knew how I felt about her and he betrayed me anyway. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. He was still talking but I couldn’t hear anymore. I finally just screamed at him, “Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk to you ever again.”

He kept saying he was sorry but I didn’t care. He looked like he was going to cry and I said, “I don’t trust you anymore. You are not my friend.” I just walked away while he stood there. I thought about it the whole way home.

He was never a real friend, just a fake one and I will never trust anyone with my feelings or secrets ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arash’s “I hate being a VILLAIN!” monologe


It’s not fair! I don’t like being called a villain. If anything, Mario is the villain, and who ever said I was the villain is wrong.

I only kidnapped Princess Peach because she asked me to. All because Mario isn’t smart enough to run his own country and now Princess Peach needs to do it herself. I mean that’s why I did it. Hey, I would be upset too if all I could wear is a “pink frilly dress.” Gross! Even that Turtle called “Yoshi” that Mario rides, comes in more colors than Princess Peach does. I had a wife and children. I had my picture-perfect life and then I got involved Mario’s mess. Now I get bored just waiting around for Mario to get past that flying level. I only have one life and that MARIO has too many to count. How is that fair? All the odds against me and he’s the one having fun all day. People adore him and people despise me.

And I get so mad when they come out with a new video game with Mario as the front cover. Without me, you wouldn’t have your precious video games anymore. I practically invented video games! And then, you go to a Halloween store you see Mario and Luigi costumes but do you see it any Bowser costumes? NO, you don’t see any Bowser costumes! You don’t see any villain costumes because nobody wants to be the villain!

So why should I be one? It’s not fair.