Now listen up here doggie-o. I’m the one who calls the shots around here, see?
I was here first, and as a feline, I have the advantage in the smarts department. See that bowl there? That’s mine. I catch you so much as sniffing around it, you’ll be sorry.
I may be smaller than you, but I’ve got powerful weapons in these here paws. You ever tangled with a Arashie o before?
Well, don’t. You’ll find out mighty quick that I’m a force to be reckoned with. Now, over there is my bed. It’s the one that says ‘princess.’ Yours is the one that says ‘woof.’ Which rhymes with goof. As in goofball. Which most dogs are. See, the humans, they respect me. I don’t slobber all over them and wag my tail like a moron. I have dignity and poise. I even keep myself clean, and I would never, ever roll around in stinky stuff in the yard, or chew on dirty socks and then lick the humans.
Gross. I don’t perform tricks for treats. That’s degrading. What are you trying to do?
Hey, what are you trying to do back there? Go find a dog’s butt to sniff! Ya better watch it, doggie-o. Remember, I’m the boss around here!