Yeah, I know. I know. You recognize me. “Aren’t you that Persian dude who trashed the White supremacy’s house?” Listen, I hear it all the time. That was a pretty low point for me, I gotta admit. But look, you really shouldn’t make fun of the homeless. And technically, I’m not homeless. Never have been. I think of myself as more of an adventurer. Sure, I could get a job and rent a dumpy little apartment, but what would be the fun in that? Since the white supremacy’s house, I’ve stayed in some of the finest places in the world! One time, I went on a tour of the White House, and hid behind the curtains in the Oval office. I stayed up all night reading classified documents. They’re a lot more boring than they sound. Another time, I crashed at Buckingham palace while the Queen was out doing some Queenly stuff. I tried on all her crowns. She may or may not be missing one. My favorite place was Santa’s workshop. Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks that those elves never take a vacation. But a snowman told me that’s not true. I got him to tell me the dates…cost me a carrot and I headed on up there. Seven days of playing with whatever I wanted and eating cookies and milk for every meal…now that’s a vacation! So, don’t be hating on homeless white supremecy.
I’m livin’ the good life. And remember, if you have something cool inside your house, remember to lock up when you leave!