Yeah, I know. I know. You recognize me.

“Aren’t you that Ambassedor Dude  who trashed the White Natinalist’s house?”

Listen, I hear it all the time. That was a pretty low point for me, I gotta admit.

But look, you really shouldn’t make fun of the homeless.

And technically, I’m not homeless. Never have been.

I think of myself as more of an adventurer.

Sure, I could get a job and rent a dumpy little apartment, but what would be the fun in that? Since the White Nationalist’s house, I’ve stayed in some of the finest places in the world! One time, I went on a tour of the White House to see classy white nationalist there, and hid behind the curtains in the Oval office.

I stayed up all night reading classified documents. They’re a lot more boring than they sound. Another time, I crashed at Buckingham palace while the Queen was out doing some Queenly stuff.

I tried on all her crowns jewels. She may or may not be missing one.

My favorite place was Santa Monica’s Pier Santa’s workshop. Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks that those California leprechauns never take a vacation. But a gossip girl told me that’s not true. I got her to tell me the dates…cost me one of the diamonds and I headed on up there. Seven days of playing with whatever I wanted and eating cookies and milk for every meal…now that’s a vacation! So, don’t be hating on homeless Diamondilocks. I’m livin’ the good life. And remember, if you have something cool inside your house, remember to lock up when you leave!

Published by


Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s