Arash’s “Running for Burgers” Monologue

In comedy monologue, Running For Burgers, Arash is drunk and at a house party.  He stops the DJ from spinning and gathers everyone to make an announcement.

Hi everybody, hi.  Hi, hi, good evening…I’d just like a moment of silence to make an announcement.  My therapist says I should talk about it, in order to release my emotions, rather than keep things in all the time, so…

You may be wondering what a handsome guy like myself is doing here…well, I know I come across as meek and kind but there’s something about me that is crying out, from inside.  Everyday, just horny.

Would you all like to know where the cause of my torment, agony and pain stems from?

Bacon!  I need bacon and cheese and GREASE and candy and soda and mmm mmm mmm going down to my tummy and mmm mmm mmm filling me up, so warm and fluffy and filling and yummy and tasty and GOOD!

Totally Man Woooohoooo!

There it is, that’s what’s up, people…I can eat any man,woman and cild under the table, cause I run for burgers ya’ll.  I run, so I can stuff my face and I love it.  I do, I love it.  I am proud to be who I am, I make no apologies and I love it!

Published by

Netaarash

Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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