Arash “Sharpest Tool In The Shed” Monologue

In Sharpest Tool In The Shed, Arash is a manager who has come to the decision of firing an inadequate worker, who has caused theft when leaving his post.

Arash: Really bad? Yeah? I’ll tell you what’s really bad, Samuel. The fact that all the inventory that you are responsible for, vanished. That’s right. Gone. We have it on camera. Three guys came in, snatched up all the packages and disappeared, without a trace.

Like it was planned. Was it planned, Samuel? It sure looks planned. As soon as you made your move and I mean the very second you turned away from the crate, three hooded men appear out of nowhere, pouncing on the items and clearing out whatever they could get their hands on.

Expensive items. Laptops, a television set, phones…choreographed, perfectly.

This is the third time this has happened on your watch and it’s the last time. You know why it’s the last time, Samuel? Cause you’re fired. You’re out.

Don’t say a word. Please, please don’t try and defend yourself. You’ve been warned. I’m letting you off easy, considering. Considering that we aren’t getting the police involved in this because…well, you know I know your mother and she was there for me when my mom was sick and I’ll never forget what she did…which is why I gave you this job in the first place, but…

You better figure something out. You’ve made my job very difficult. I have to answer for these stolen items, yet again and this paints me in a very uncomfortable corner.

Published by

Netaarash

Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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