Arash’s “The Chain of Heredity”

In The Chain of Heredity, Arash talks to his ex-gf about how they lost time in showing their friends Abbielove and affection.

Arash: We can’t go back. We can’t make up for lost time, can we? We can’t. Time is a cruel teacher and it always gets the last laugh. Time just keeps on ticking, long after we’re gone, it continues to wake us up out from our ignorance, but always when it’s too late, always when we recognize the problem…how else will time have an impact on its message? There are others, like you, who don’t wish to hear it. You will go on ignoring the sounds of time until your dying breath. But me, I can’t, I won’t go out that way, not without making things right with Abbie, not without righting my wrongs. I am not going to let time win. Not while I am alive! If there is a need, there is a chance and I wish to have my chance.

Arash’s “The Business Trip” Story

Description: Arash decides to run away and be kid.

I’m definitely kid now! That’s what I told my dad and mom before I ran away. They don’t know that I am gone now, I snuck out this morning. But even if they found out they would understand. Right? Well it’s too late to turn back now, I’m already on the way to my business trip (because that’s what cool kids do)! Why do you want to be an kid, you may ask? Well when you’re a kid you get to do what you want, you get to go to the ice cream store and buy a LARGE ice cream cone, even though your parents told you not to when you were little. Also, you get to make money! You get money by being a boss at work. And the fun thing about that? Well a boss gets to yell at people who are doing a bad job, and they make more than two dollars a week, which is my current salary. Heck, I bet they make like a gazillion dollars a day! I’m glad I’m running away! Wait……did you hear that? Uh Oh it sounds like my dad! GO AWAY DAD. I’M KID NOW. IT’S OK!!! Fine…I’ll stop and wait for you, BUT ONLY FOR A LITTLE BIT, I got an important business meeting!!! Yes? Really? Mom’s making grilled cheese and smiley fries?! Oh, okay. I’m coming home now!!! I guess I’m not running away today after all.

Goodbye, little racoon!

Arash’s “Harry Potter” Story

Welcome to another lesson of my Harry Potter Theory. In this short short story, I’m going to be discussing one of if not THE most powerful wizard to have ever lived – Merlin!. You’ve probably heard of Merlin before, and if not, I’m sure you’ve at least heard the expression ‘Merlin’s Beard’ which is commonly used by Dumbledore and expresses surprise. Merlin is a particularly interesting character because he didn’t only exist in Harry Potter folklore, he existed in our folklore as well. We see this same sort of thing with Nicholas Flamel. However, it should be mentioned that there are a few differences between the two Merlins. The Merlin from our own folklore was a legendary figure known across the lands as a prominent enchanter and wizard- he was most notably featured in Arthurian legend, but was also a prominent figure in medieval Welsh poetry. The concept of ‘Merlin’ that we’re most familiar with first appears in Geoffrey of Monmouth’s famous work entitled: Historia Regum Britanniae. The book was first published in 1136 and is essentially a pseudo-historical account of British history- following the lives of the Kings of Briton over the millennia. Merlin was created when Geoffrey combined two prominent historical figures – Myrddin Wyltt, A north Brythonic prophet, and Ambrosius Aurelianus, a Romano-British war leader. However, The story that we most commonly associate with Merlin in our own culture is the story of King Arthur, and the knights of the round table. The story, which has been subject to copious adaptations over the years, tells the tales of King Arthur, his court, his kingdom, and his most trustworthy men. The Knights of the Round Table were a sub-order of the Knights of Camelot created by Arthur Pendragon, and they helped him with whatever quarrels he had to deal with. In one story, even helping him to combat his sister, Morgana Pendragon, and her attempts to conquer Camelot. In the realm of this universes ‘Merlin’, he is a powerful sorcerer, and the trusted and wise advisor of Arthur. However, what is most interesting about Merlin is that he’s such an enigmatic figure. He’s the subject of much discussion, widely because his existence has been adapted in so many ways, and slotted in to so many different stories. There’s a certain allure about Merlin, because he’s this figure that’s supposedly immensely wise and powerful, but there’s still so much that is unknown about him. The fact that he appears in so many different tales, myths and legends only adds to this mystique. I mean, he even ended up in Harry Potter. And though Merlin isn’t explicitly mentioned much in Harry Potter, he does pop up here and there. He’s the reason that the phrase ‘Merlins beard’ exists (as I mentioned earlier), he’s on a Hogwarts portrait, he’s on a Chocolate Frog Card, and he’s even the founder of an organization called ‘The Order of Merlin’. It has been expressed that The ‘Order of Merlin’ was founded by Merlin during the middle ages, created with the goal of promoting laws to protect and benefit muggles. While it was once an organization, it later became an award, honouring impressive accomplishment or good deeds. There are three different levels of the award: First Class, Second Class, and Third Class. The three levels of the award can be distinguished by the colour of the ribbon which holds up a large golden medal. First class was awarded for “acts of outstanding bravery or distinction” in magic, and was represented by a green ribbon. Second class was awarded for “achievement or endeavour beyond the ordinary.” and was represented by a purple ribbon, and Third Class was awarded for “contributions to knowledge or entertainment’ and was represented by a white ribbon. Being a recipient of the Order of Merlin was a huge honour, and can be compared to being knighted in our own world. Albus Dumbledore was the recipient of this award after his prominent defeat of Gellert Grindelwald in 1945. Merlin was a strong believer that the muggle and wizarding worlds should co-exist, and founded the original organization in an effort to help alleviate any complications associated with the coalescence of the two worlds. In the middle ages especially there was a lot of conflict between muggles and wizards.

The wizarding world was essentially wide open, and muggles knew that witches and wizards walked among them.

Arash’s “You Wanna be a Janitor” Monologue

Summary: Arash, the janitor at Beverly Hills High School!

Arash: You wanna be a janitor? Oh, really?  You guys think I’m just some untouchable peasant?  Peon? huh?  Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for the past eight years I’ve learned a couple of things… I look through your letters, I look through your lockers… I listen to your conversations, you don’t know that but I do… I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends.  By the way, that clock’s twenty minutes fast!

Arash’s “Outcome Of Design Monologue”

In The Outcome of Design Monologue, Arash and his best friend Martin sit beside a lake discussing the meaning of life and what truth really means.

Arash: I’m not saying I believe it, I only think about it from time to time. I see the patterns, in life. I see how humanity flows in and out of itself, like breathing and I see the magic, I can see the massive design. When I look at things, I see the mathematics. I see the beauty in numbers. It feels as though there is a higher being that created all of this because it’s all too perfect, that’s it, I see the perfection, the harmony in the perfection…at times it’s almost comical, when I allow my mind to rise above it, when I don’t allow myself to get bogged down with living in the moment. Instead, I live through the moment, I partake and observe simultaneously…you never notice such things, Martin?

Arash’ “Swag” Story

In the monologue Swag, Arash talks to his brother about how he shouldn’t feel humiliated in school just because he’s his sister.

Arash:  So what if I’m not one of the cool kids at school?  So what?  …Because I don’t have nice swag or whatever, I’m not considered good enough?  I have friends and I like my friends but I don’t go around talking trash to them about YOU the same way you do behind my back.  I’m your brother and you should always put that first.  Just because I’m not popular like you doesn’t mean you should be ashamed of me in any way.  That’s ridiculous and one day you’ll realize how silly you’ve been.  One day all of this high school nonsense won’t even matter!

Dirty Laundry

In Dirty Laundry, Arash explains in detail how his morning went when he readied himself to wash his clothes after having his morning coffee.

Arash: This morning I woke up in my house all alone. Which is normal. I always wake up in my home alone. Your mother usually leaves on the coffee pot for me…most mornings…after I have my spill, I’ll do some chores. Today was laundry day. I pushed the laundry bag down the stairs, watched it tumble down gracefully to the very bottom. A few socks and panties slipped out…I stared at those items on the floor for a moment and then something came over me. An impulse. Something pushing me. I went down to the base of the stairs and poured all the laundry onto the floor into a pile. I walked back up the stairs a few steps and jumped face first into the pile of clothes. It was a perfect landing and so I started burying my face deep into the dirty clothes and inhaled the dirty scent from the clothes and I was lost in an ocean of blue, swimming through the clothes sinking deeper and deeper into the depths of my laughter…until finally, turning myself over I began to cry. Enormous burst of tears running down my cheeks. I was blind with passion…my tummy began to hurt, my jaw became stiff, my eyes began to sting…but, I couldn’t stop crying. I was a broken fire hydrant floating in my own urine, oozing and flowing, releasing without thinking to be free, alive, warm again…I didn’t care…I refused to stop crying. I refused! I would not get up from the floor! …I started to scream, not for the attention, but I needed to break the cancer inside my being.I let out a hell of a scream for all the devils of this world…your mother came in the room, face all dirty from her beloved garden, a growing stare of shock and concern on her face…she finally noticed me. Yes, she did. I stood up, anxious to see what she’d say, but nothing came of it. I looked at her and she turned her back on me…I heard the door slam shut and I received a chill, but I didn’t allow myself to remain frozen, no, no, I grabbed hold of my dirty laundry and I stuffed all my, my…I stuffed all my—all in that bag. All back in that bag…


Endless is a teen monologue, Arash goes on a bit of a rant about all the phonies he encounters in his life at his life in Tehran.

Arash:  Why don’t I get along with anybody?  Cause I see through all the bullshit.  I see the phonies.  The fake smiles and secret agendas.  It drives me sick.  Some days I wish I’d get hit in the head so I can have less awareness of all the nonsense I see in my school.

There’s this one girl Jenny who drives me up the wall.  She brown noses every teacher to no end.  She gets straight A’s in all the subjects and she’s just so…adult.  I wish she would act her age and not have to act so perfect all the time. It’s repulsive to me.

Then there’s Shahab.  Everybody loves Shahab.  Star of the Soccer football team.  Look out!  He’s such a creep; absolute rocks in his brain.  He’s a great football player, I’ll give him that but the dude is still in first grade.  But everybody sucks up to him and he’s so popular just because he can throw a football.  It’s mindless.

Maybe I’m being too damn harsh.  But I see the phonies everywhere I look.  Not just in my school.  At a restaurant, the way the waiter works for his lousy tip or the daughter who smiles charmingly at her father in the mall, so he can buy her clothes.  It’s so endless.

I wish people were more honest with one another.  More straight up and not so damn fake.

Arash’ “Confession Of An Alcoholic” Share

Dear Diary,

5:46 p.m. — That I have been considering this stately single malt before me, just sitting there like a dog yearnfully waiting for its owner, means that I must relieve it of its expectant torture. Of my 8 hr a day work-induced seared nerve endings, I need not the balm of an absurd smoothie or the languid waters of grandma-ish tea, but rather what the Scotch etymologically refer to as the “water of life,” and what better way to inaugurate an evening of single life than a peaty single Islay malt, whose redolence is of stepping into a wet forest at dawn after it has burned down. Yes, that smells so good. I think I may have a double.

6:11 p.m. — I’m a little thirsty now, perhaps a tad dehydrated because I’ve had three cups of coffee today, a diarrhetic whose color’s consistency with its expulsion I’ve always found endearing. I believe there’s some 6-pack still in the fridge, maybe 2-left, a blonde Stella Artois for all the blondes I didn’t copulate with in high school — yah, seems like addiction is a surrogate relationship in place of unrequited ones, of past and present. But I am indeed parched. I could have water, but I don’t want the beer to expire. Wow, look at that head.

6:38 p.m. — I need to open this ’09 Cabernet Sauvignon since I’m braising the lamb shank. The recipe calls for it. It’ll be good to acclimate to its black current notes and subtlest bouquet of vanilla by having a glass while I’m cutting up the vegetables; then of course a glass, or two, obviously, with the wine rendered shank itself. The iron-y (not ironic) tannins are necessary to clean one’s palette, to “grip” the oil and fat from the shank and pull it down the throat. I don’t make up the rules. This is how one eats in a civilized world.

7:23 p.m. — It is a soft line between being buzzed, drunk, and wasted. I feel merely in the former category, and still able to perceive, rationally, that I may indeed be — as my therapist so gently suggested with a set of intricate rhetorical questions — a “functional alcoholic,” whose psychological dependency is carefully sustained without immediate dire consequences, save the chronic depression it accompanies, thus able to continue and chew away at one’s soul. My floor is 4º askew now, that is okay. A 180º condominium is over-rated.

9:12 p.m. — Seems like the reason I agreed to come to this bar is because I don’t have a reason not to. Does that make sense, in some grimly logical and existential way? I’m a “path of least resistance” kind of guy, and I suppose her text “at lone palm come overrrr” is a fairly resistantless path, the honking river of traffic slower than the pedestrian gait with which I walk to the bar. The martinis are really good here. “Hendricks Martini, up” I say, which I hear myself saying one or two more times.  The bartender is quite attractive, though it’s rude to look at women when you’re with one. I suppose the reason I came here was for her, the endless never arrived at horizon of so many hers, all of them lined up as a faint line in the distance, my worrisome advances precluded by the most cordial of rejections. The path of most resistance.

11:43 p.m. — My condominium is spinning. I may have vomited a little bit inside my mouth on the 17º walk home, which I intuitively swallowed like some money shot in the ongoing auto-erotic porn of my life. A general rule is once I open a bottle, I like to finish it that night. Obtusely stuffing the cork back in seems primitive and vaguely sexual in ways I’m too limp now to even consider. My insides are soup, my outsides the hell of this world. I’ll just pour what remains in this glass, swirl it around, and let it breathe, let it breathe inside me, its dark fingers coursing through my arteries in its journey towards the numb edges of my body, soon to find the blurry shape of a bed, inside a familiar dark empty room, onto which it falls.

I let you know more tomorow.Good night. 

Arash’s “A.A.” Share

HI, I – I’m ARASH, um,alcoholic
I’ve been sober for 777 days
I-I drank my first beer when I was eleven years old
My mom’s an alcoholic, so, uh, my father liked to
blame my lapse on her example
That way he could hurt both of us at once
Anyway I liked my beer…
And the one that followed
And about a year ago I god drunk
I couldn’t stop getting drunk
It had never really happened quite like that, and I still
don’t know why
I’ve lied to everyone that I know
Everyone i love and…
I was ashamed and terrified
And humiliated everyday.
Um, one day I…
Got out of the shower, grabbed a towel…
And decided to go get the paper.
And nobody saw me go out the front door or at the
which was a very good thing,
because I was holding the towel just folded in my
I know how lucky I’ve been,
‘cause there were times when I drove my little boys
just ripped out of my mind
One saturday I took my baby boy on errands
And when I got home
I realized he wasn’t with me.
I had left him some place
And since I couldn’t remember where I’d been,
I had no idea where,so…
I spent the next few hours calling every shop I’d ever
been to…
Until finally the tile guy rang my front door bell.
They had found my address on a check
I rewarded him of course, you know, by never going
back to his store
My bottom was 777 days ago …
When my,uh,
my little boy watched me…
wash down aspirin with vodka.
And then I hit my baby….
And when I passed out he was alone with me,
and he taught I was dead
and all of my life I will never know what I did to him.
And I know I have to forgive myself for that
And I have to forgive myself for what I’ve done to my wife.
It’s horrifyng how much you can hate yourself for
being low and weak.
And she couldn’t save me from that, so i turned it on
I tried to empty it onto her, but there was always
more, ya know?
When She tried to help
I told her that She made me feel small and worsless.
But nobody makes us feel that, man.
We do that for ourselves.
I shut her out because…
I knew that if She ever really saw…
Who I was inside,
She wouldn’t love me .
And we’re separated now.
She left me
And it was so hard not to beg her to stay:
And I don’t know if I’m gonna get a second chance,
but I have to believe I do deserve one
because we all do.