Protective Shield

In this dramatic monologue Protective Shield, Arash talks to his friend about how he has a difficult time opening up to people he cares about.

Arash: I keep things in.  Things.  Emotions.  My emotions…I know that that’s probably not a good thing.  Life has made me that way I guess.  I have a tendency to show no emotion when I am feeling emotion.

I just have a hard time opening up to someone.  I get closed off.  I feel that by being emotional in front of someone, kind of makes me very vulnerable and weak and I have a hard time with that.  You know, being in that state of vulnerability, it’s not a place where I like to be because I feel like I’m not in control.  When I’m not in control, I get anxiety.

Whenever I truly loved anybody and opened myself up to them, they have always stabbed me in the back.  I have a hard time with that; trusting people.  It can be anyone…friends, family,my girlfriend.  I’m not sure if I truly trust anyone in my life.  It’s sort of a protective shield I’ve put up and it only gets stronger with time.

I do desire to be more vulnerable but at the same time I desire to stay protected.  I feel torn.  Every time I do take a risk, I get hurt.  Not sure if I should keep taking those risks.

Published by

Netaarash

Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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