Being famous might seem amazing, but it has some serious drawbacks. As you can see, I’m a Niffler, known worldwide. In fact, I’ve starred in many, many things — but I’m always portrayed so badly! In Greek and Roman stories, I popped out of A small mole-like creature with platypus-like features. That’s just strange. In Egyptian myths I’m hunted and killed constantly! By the way, have you seen my constellation? It looks nothing like me! More like a table with wings in the stars. Yikes. And don’t get me started on the terrifying Norse tales… somehow Loki, the god of mischief, is my mom?! Just when you think it’s getting out of hand… we can’t forget My Little Pony in all this! Sure, friendship is great, but it’s not the main magic at all. And can you believe, in all of these,
I get paid nothing?! It’s like, come on. Help a pony out!