Arash’s “Alcoholic Ananymos” Story

In this Alcoholic monologue Alcoholic Ananymous, Arash talks to his friend about how he’s drinking way too much.

Arash:  Listen Todd, I don’t think it’s a good idea we hang out anymore and it’s because you drink too much.  I mean, way too much.  It’s one thing when we all go to a house party and chill or whatever but for the longest time now, every time we go out, wherever we go, you always want to drink and you always want to stop at the corner store.  It’s becoming a problem or it is already a problem.  I’m all for fun and good times but you need to slow your roll, partying way too hard and it’s actually changing your personality.  I don’t think you even realize but you get so snappy and wild that it’s too much for anybody to want to be around.  Not everything is about drinking and blacking out.  There’s so many other things we can be doing to have a good time.  You need to stop or find some new friends.  Seriously.  I’m sorry but that’s just the way it is.

Arash’s “Test Me” Story

In the dramatic monologue Test Me, Arash approaches a regular at a bar about talking to his girl and he gives him a warning.

Arash:  Hey.You think you’re slick, Sam?  Huh?  You walk around here like a drunken fool.  Casually coming into the bar like your everybody’s best friend.  Coming in with your bullshit stories and your wise cracks.  I don’t like you. I don’t trust you. I take one look at you and I see right through you. I see who you really are.

I know what you do behind closed doors. I’ve heard the stories.  People talk about you because you’re always bragging about your manly endeavors with women.  What a joke you are.  If you’re wife even knew.   I want you to know one thing, if you talk to my girl again, if you even think you have a shot, I’ll bury you.  You understand, PLAYA?  

Okay, good.  As long as we’re clear, we’re good.  I don’t care what you do in your life, just don’t come close to mine.  

 Got it?  

Arash’s “Niffler Wants Cash” Monologue

Being famous might seem amazing, but it has some serious drawbacks. As you can see, I’m a Niffler, known worldwide. In fact, I’ve starred in many, many things — but I’m always portrayed so badly! In Greek and Roman stories, I popped out of A small mole-like creature with platypus-like features. That’s just strange. In Egyptian myths I’m hunted and killed constantly! By the way, have you seen my constellation? It looks nothing like me! More like a table with wings in the stars. Yikes. And don’t get me started on the terrifying Norse tales… somehow Loki, the god of mischief, is my mom?! Just when you think it’s getting out of hand… we can’t forget My Little Pony in all this! Sure, friendship is great, but it’s not the main magic at all. And can you believe, in all of these,

I get paid nothing?! It’s like, come on. Help a pony out!

I’m Not Dumb

I’m Not Dumb is a teen monologue about feeling inadequate. Arash talks to his guidance counselor about feeling less intelligent than the others Students.

Arash: I try my hardest in school but I am always just passing by the skin of my teeth.  I feel like I am dumber than the other Students.  I don’t know why I am not smart like they are.  I study when I go home.  Sometimes I stay after school for extra help.  I always do extra credit.

Why am I not smart enough, Mr. Counselor?  I want to have a good future.  I know I am young but what I do now will mean something later in my life, I just know it. I and My parents are immigrants who came to this country and I want to make them proud.  But how can I make them proud when I am stupid?

What is wrong with me?

Protective Shield

In this dramatic monologue Protective Shield, Arash talks to his friend about how he has a difficult time opening up to people he cares about.

Arash: I keep things in.  Things.  Emotions.  My emotions…I know that that’s probably not a good thing.  Life has made me that way I guess.  I have a tendency to show no emotion when I am feeling emotion.

I just have a hard time opening up to someone.  I get closed off.  I feel that by being emotional in front of someone, kind of makes me very vulnerable and weak and I have a hard time with that.  You know, being in that state of vulnerability, it’s not a place where I like to be because I feel like I’m not in control.  When I’m not in control, I get anxiety.

Whenever I truly loved anybody and opened myself up to them, they have always stabbed me in the back.  I have a hard time with that; trusting people.  It can be anyone…friends, family,my girlfriend.  I’m not sure if I truly trust anyone in my life.  It’s sort of a protective shield I’ve put up and it only gets stronger with time.

I do desire to be more vulnerable but at the same time I desire to stay protected.  I feel torn.  Every time I do take a risk, I get hurt.  Not sure if I should keep taking those risks.

Arash’s “Work”

Talent?  What?  Talent??  No, you must have me confused with someone else. There is nothing talented about me at all.  Words like genius and God and all that jazz, when it’s applied to someone, no matter what the practice…it always troubles me cause the way I see it, it’s just hard work.  All that other stuff is just over the top nonsense.

If you’re not working hard, you’re losing hard.  You want to be something? Anything, I don’t care what it is, work hard at it.  Work, work, work your ass off…that’s it.  Then you will be called a genius, talented, a God and all that when you’ve just been bleeding to death over your work the entire time.  It’s time we take the myth and bullshit out of the equation.

You and I, we are just human beings capable of achieving great things through hard work.  That’s it.  Forget the myth, do the work.  Yeah, just shut up and do the work if it means that much to you.  That’s the deal.

Don’t talk about it, be about it.

Arash’ “Death On Zoom Meeting”

Oh dear! My teacher died during my Zoom class! I don’t know what happened. We all thought he just fell asleep or something. We didn’t know what to do. Like it was literally so weird, he just stopped talking and fell out of his chair. I thought he had hypoglycemia or something, but nope, he died. We were like uhhh what do we do now? And then Bobby was like, “Is he okay? Maybe we should do something.” So, we told him to call 911. It was really weird at first, hearing him trying to explain to the operator what happened. He was like, “Um… hello. My name is Bobby Taylor, and I am in a Zoom class with my teacher. I think he is unconscious.” pause. “Yes ma’am.He was talking, and then stopped, and fell out of his chair.” Then Ellie said, “Bobby tell the lady Mr. Stein’s name.” Bobby said, “Yes ma’am hiss name is Mr. Stein, ummm his first name?… it’s uhhhh… OH it’s Sam. San Stein… No, I don’t, um, I don’t know where e lives. Okay, thank you.” short pause “Guys, the operator said that he probably is okay. They told us to stay on the Zoom call so that the police can ask us questions when they get to his house.” So then, we waited for like an hour until they got there. They asked us questions and stuff, but they didn’t tell us if he was alright. So then we all just assumed that he died, and we left the Zoom call. My dear, you gotta find out what happened. Maybe he didn’t die. Maybe he just has hypoglycemia. Maybe he just needed a little extra candy or something to make his stay awake. We won’t know for a while. But on the bright side, it looks like I don’t have class for two whole weeks!

Arash’ “One Shot” Monologue

In the short dramatic monologue One Shot, Arash encourages Abbie and tells her he will be there to help her needs.   

Arash:  Look, I’m gonna do everything in my power to help you.  But you know how it is…these things, when they happen, it can go either way.  Just go about your business, pretend nothing happened and I’ll find out more details in the upcoming weeks.   Don’t make that face Abbie, it takes time, if you want this done right, it takes time. Okay?  I want this bastard too.  But we need to do this the right way.  We only have one shot at this.

Arash’s “A Long Nap” Story

Description: Arash attends his grand mother’s funeral, but still doesn’t fully understand what is happening.
Genre: Dramatic

Hi Grandma. They say you are dead buy you just look like you are sleeping. I was told once that everyone will die at some point. That mommy would die, that daddy would die, that you would die, and that one day, I would die. But I never thought that that would actually happen. You have been in my life every day, and I can’t seem to imagine it any other way. Mommy and daddy told me what happened to you yesterday, but it still doesn’t seem real. I mean, your room is still there, just the way you left it. I’ve been going in there to ask if you wanted to do next but you’re not there. Mommy said that you’re an angel now but your lying right here like you’re asleep. Is that what it is? Just one big nap? Well then, I’ll see you when I take a nap. So, I’ll see you later, okay?

No Days Off In The Grind Factory

In No Days Off In The Grind Factory, Arash is a professional bodybuilder who talks to himself at a mirror between sets while working out in the gym.

Arash: Days off?  Are you kidding me?  What days off?  There are NO DAYS OFF in the grind factory baby.

While everyone else is sleeping or taking a holiday or spending a day at the park for some sunshine and wine, I’m chiseling, I’m grinding, I’m hustling, I’m sweating, I’m dreaming, I’m becoming…

While everyone else is talking trash, trying to take me down, trying to compete with me, I say bring it and bring it hard.  Look me in my eyes and tell me you want it more.  Go on, tell me.

I’m all in!  My life is all in!  I have sacrificed my life for this shit!  I will die for this shit!

I’ve chosen to stand with the greats.  You hear me?  Do you hear me?  When I go down, I’m going to go down as one of the greatest of all time.

Like me, hate me, doesn’t matter…I am HERE.