Today’s date is November, 9th, 2040. This is my first video diary after becoming the first earthling to visit the planet Venus. I still cannot establish contact with NASA, so I will recap for anyone who is listening. Two decades ago, in the year 2020, scientists hypothesized that the clouds of Venus might have bacterial life. My mission is to gather a sample of Venus’ atmosphere and scan it for proof of life. My trip to Venus took two months. My spaceship is small, so my only companion is my cat, which took me a while to convince NASA to let me bring. Thanks to NASA’s Food-In-A-Tiny-Box program, all my cat and I have to eat is dehydrated, compacted food. I would like to have a word with whomever thought of this. My cat can no longer taste the difference between rehydrated tuna, which he loved back on Earth, and rehydrated citrus which he would never touch back on Earth. My cat doesn’t like being weightless. He can’t climb on his cat tower or practice jumping off the tower and landing on his feet. When he jumps, he floats to the ceiling, occasionally bumps his head on the lightbulb and breaks it, making the room dark. I’ve had to replace the lightbulb twice already, so I’ve decided to tape a pillow to the lightbulb. Now my cat can no longer break it. I’m starting to regret bringing him on this mission, because that was the only pillow NASA packed for me. There’s a small gas leak in the spaceship’s cooling system, which makes a high-pitched squeaking noise. That is not good for two reasons:
1) It’s getting hot in here.
2) My cat has been looking for the squeaking “mouse” for the past two weeks.
He really wants to catch the “mouse” because the rehydrated foods all taste the same. He’s looking for something that doesn’t taste like year-old toothpaste. My spaceship also brought a small blimp to Venus. This blimp will allow me to fly through the clouds and collect samples. To collect the samples, I’ll use gloves with motion sensors to control two big robotic arms on the exterior of the blimp. With these arms, I’ll scoop some of Venus’ clouds into a jar, screw the lid on, and bring the jar back to Earth. My cat is not allowed in the blimp because he might scratch a hole in it with his claws, causing the blimp to crash into Venus’ surface, where I will be cooked alive. That’s unfortunate because my cat really wants to come with me on the blimp. So, tomorrow, I’ll be boarding the blimp and getting ready to collect a cloud sample with possible bacterial life, but not before saying goodbye to my cat. If all goes well, and I’m not killed immediately by accidentally coming in contact with a deadly space bacteria, or being scorched on the planet’s surface, my next entry will be tomorrow.