Frosty Monologue

Yes, it’s me. Frosty the Snowman. No autographs right now. I’m not in the best of moods. 

 Why? Well, you may have heard of that show. The show that was made back in the ’60s? I can’t stop thinking about it. That cheesy show with the song that goes, Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul. With a corncob pipe and a button nose? 

 Hold it, hold it. What do they mean by a button nose? I have a long, orange, carrot nose which I take pride in. Not a small button nose like those humans. Ugh. Anyways, let’s continue. 

Frosty the Snowman was a fairy tale, they say. He was made of snow but the children know? 

Yes, what do the children know about me? Five verses into the song and they already have so much arrogance! I am disgusted. Aside from you, I’ve never spoken to a child in my life! I’d better keep going before I hurl snowballs everywhere. Let’s see, There must have been some magic in that old top hat they found? 

 What top hat was that? Abe Lincoln’s?

 I’m not sure if he even had magic in his hat. I wasn’t at the White House. Yes, I know what the White House is! I am not just an inanimate object brought to life by some bozo who thought he had the brains to come up with someone as amazing as me. I am real. I am an anthropomorphic being! Not someone whose father was a snowball! You know what, I’ve had it up to here with humans! Why do you think you are so creative? Of course, I knew the sun would melt me. They thought they were going to humiliate me with a show about what, a walking talking blimp who sings with a bunch of munchkins for half an hour! Why don’t you just watch the show yourself? Then you will see what I am so upset about.! In the meantime, I shall gather my genetic material off the sidewalk! I shall form my brethren, the other misunderstood snow-people of the world, and we shall fight! And we will humiliate the humans…the scum! Or I could just live my long life out on the lawn all winter until I melt.

Published by

Netaarash

Arash has been writing stories ever since he could hold a pencil! What started out as an intrinsic love for storytelling has turned into his lifelong passion. There’s nothing he likes better than writing (and reading) stories that is humorous in English and Persian languages, with a touch of Suspense and a poignant streak of truth running through them. Arash is also a YouTuber, Persian singer/songwriter, blogger, traveler, filmmaker, big dreamer, and professional kabob eater. When he’s not writing or dreaming up new stories, you can find him in an adventure road-tripping to national parks! If you want to see Arash in his element (ranting about stories) check out his YouTube channel.

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