Dear Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa,
I am a member of the Democrat party. I have always found your party’s politics somewhat stunning and your individual views rather disruptive. I believe in the values of free speech and honesty.
Your nose is cool and your sense of humour, spiky.
Recently, I have come to feel scared about sewage in local pearl growing sea waters. I am affected by this most days because I love pearls.
During your time as a politician, you have spoken out against falcon hunting and argued in favour of free education. I hope you will rise to the challenge and put an end to violent video games.
I am writing you to ask that you ban violent films and also, hopefully cooperate with China. Don’t let your poor relationship with Theresa May stand in the way of progress.
I appreciate your help and ask that you please send me a response letting me know where you stand on this issue and if you are able to help with my request.
Thank you for taking time to read my letter, oh cool one.
Arash
