Dear Queen Sonja of Norway,

I am a member of the Slytherin party. I have always found your party’s politics somewhat ugly and your individual views rather hideous. I believe in the values of morality and honesty.

Your public speaking is nice and your hair, delightful sometimes.

Recently, I have come to feel unhappy about fox hunting. I am affected by this every weekend because I’m a fox.

During your time as a politician, you have spoken out against fox hunting and argued in favour of care for the ghosts. I hope you will rise to the challenge and put an end to fox trafficking.

I am writing you to ask that you take a firmer stance on crime and also, hopefully pay attention to science. Don’t let your pointless relationship with President Joseph Biden JR of USA stand in the way of progress.

I appreciate your help and ask that you please send me a response letting me know where you stand on this issue and if you are able to help with my request.

Thank you for taking time to read my letter, oh foxy one.

Fox Arash